Learning
Experiences:
(p.
3) About age five, in Indiana, I liked the
Ludlow girl, perhaps a year older than me—the first of several secret loves who
had no trouble remaining oblivious of my existence. One time she and her other
girl friends were playing and built a house of cardboard and other playground
materials. We little boys watched for some time, curiously observing their
construction techniques and being amazed that it stood when complete. The sad
part is that what happened next was my idea: “Let’s run by and knock the house
down.” My two co-conspirators’ enthusiastic responses were as stupid as my
idea, but my stupid idea being received so well was encouraging. So we ran by
and pushed it down. The girls were predictably put out at us and sad. As I
looked (from a safe distance) at the collapsed house and their unhappiness, I
was trying to remember what made that seem like a good idea. It was not, of
course, but was a really dumb thing to do. I decided that it is not fun making
people feel bad (lesson 4), and
decided at age five not to make people feel bad any more, not intentionally. I
still clumsily bungle my way into hurting people’s feelings unintentionally
from time to time, but not intentionally. And hopefully even the unintentionals
decrease in frequency as I learn to be more wise, as gradual and imperceptible
as that progress may seem. I’ve found that just keeping my mouth shut works
well much of the time. Then other times I can even get in trouble for not
saying what others thought I should have said. So the probabilities of pleasing
everyone all the time are zilch, but I keep trying. That is another reason I
like being in the mountains: my social skills attain perfection when alone in
the mountains. It’s so exhilarating to come back from a hike in the pines,
having lived a perfect life for 8 hours.
(p.
5) I did 1st and 2nd
grade in Hawaii while Dad taught at the University of Hawaii. Then we moved to
L.A. where he began a Doctorate of Musical Arts at USC. We first lived in the
Watts area, 4 blocks from the Los Angeles Coliseum. Living in the inner city
was tense. I hardly dared leave the yard. One venture away from the house thoroughly
reinforced all my fears. I was in 3rd grade, and my brother Eric in
1st. We were with our only
friends, another pair of brothers in 3rd and 5th grades.
A group of 6 or 8 black guys of high school age or older came down the
street. They stopped us and took turns
hitting the 5th grader in the mouth.
They would feign compassion while looking at his mouth, saying things
like, “Oh, we’re sorry. We didn’t mean to hurt you,” then they would smash him
in the mouth again. One of their group was decent enough to try to convince the
others to leave us alone, which they eventually did. We three 1st
and 3rd graders were helpless against the gang and could only watch,
hoping their amusements would not eventually include us. I’ve reflected on that in the years since:
did they think they were proving to each other how tough they were by
collectively beating up a 5th grader half the size of any one of
them? Was that their entertainment—bloodying up the mouth of an innocent,
smaller passer-by? How sick to enjoy
such brutal pastimes on the innocent! We later moved to 90th Street
where my best friends were Charles Scholes, Michael Okajima, and Bill Williams,
a shy black boy and the gentlest nicest guy imaginable.
Sports
(lousy at basketball, okay at track):
(p.
10) In 7th grade I read two or three
books on Geronimo, the Apache warrior.
As a boy of 12 or 13 years of age, I was much impressed with what I
read. His military genius is still
studied in military academies today. As
a youth in training, rounding a curve on a mountainous trail, he was once
attacked by a mountain lion. Slashing
with his knife as the lion tore with claws and mouth, they both rolled down the
embankment below the trail. When the
dust settled, the other boys saw Geronimo arise, but the lion did not. He also had premonitions from time to time.
One was that white man’s bullets would never kill him. Sources offer ranges from 50 to 200 for the
number of bullet wounds in his body at death. He later died of pneumonia at 80,
after lying drunk in the rain all one night.
The book told of how he could run 7 miles when 7 years old, 50 miles
when 13 years old, and 300 miles over 3 days when 18 years old.
So
at 13, the summer after 7th grade, I decided to try distance
running. I thought anything less than 2 miles would be embarrassing, so the
first run was 2 miles and it about killed me. Two days later, the 2nd
time was easier. The 3rd time
felt good. Then it became a habit from that day to this, 5 or 6 days a week.
(p.
11) We moved from L.A. to Utah when Dad was hired
onto the BYU music faculty and I was starting 8th grade. Orem was still rather rural then, not the
metropolis that Utah Valley is now. I
loved it—fruit orchards, mountains for hiking, fields for running, and being
able to walk down any street without having to worry about getting beat up.
(p.
12) When spring came, I learned that the junior
high had a real track team. I had been
running 2 to 4 miles a day for a year by that time, tried out, and happened to
be the school’s best half-miler (longest race they had). The one annual track
meet was Alpine Day. As it was my first
race, I was nervous and did not know what to expect. Fifteen runners, the three best from each of
five junior high schools, lined up for the two-lap, 880-yard half-mile.
The
starting gun fired, and everyone took off sprinting. A half lap or 220 yards into the race, I was
13th place out of 15. I
couldn’t even see the leaders. I knew I
could not keep the pace they were running, so I resigned myself to simply doing
my best, no longer entertaining any thoughts of winning. Toward the end of the first lap, I noticed
that the crowd had slowed to about the same pace I was running and my position
stayed the same for awhile. During the
third quarter of the race, from 440 to 660 yards, they slowed a little more and
I passed 4 or 5 guys to be in about 8th place with 220 yards to
go. At 660 yards, the pace had slowed to
considerably slower than I was running, and I easily passed 3 more runners in
the next 100 yards. With 4 runners and
120 yards ahead of me, I took off for the final effort. Three were grouped together and I passed them
quickly. From second place I could see
that the first runner was now 15 yards ahead, but not going as slowly as the
others; nevertheless, I was gaining.
With 50 yards remaining, he was 8 yards ahead. With 20 yards remaining, he was 3 yards
ahead. I overtook him in the last five
yards and won by only a foot or two. It
was a new record for the 8th grade half-mile—2:19—breaking the old record of
2:21.
(p.
18) Eleventh grade was the first time I attended
the same school 2 years in a row since 5th grade—6 different schools
in 6 years (5th to 10th).
I had decided not to play football my junior year, but to train for
track year-round. When I told the football coach that, he was NOT happy. But as he was also the track
coach, he didn’t say too much. During my sophomore season, my knee was
hyper-extended such that I could still feel it a year later (and a few years
after that), and I did not want to risk any worse injuries, as running and
doing so for life were more important to me than football, in spite of 2 uncles
(Wayne and Morris) and 2 cousins (Renny and Scott) having played for BYU, and cousin
Layne Van Noy’s son Kyle Van Noy now starring at BYU, and Alan, Reed, and Duane
being all region or college gridiron greats elsewhere. Such a collection of relatives
is the best I can do for a claim to fame in football.
School-year
life consisted of school, workout, homework, dinner, then finish homework, and
to bed at 9. It sounds boring, I know, but I liked it, all except for half of
school. I loved math, physics, and chemistry, but did what I had to for
English, literature, and history. I enjoyed reading history, but not trying to
read teachers’ minds when tested on what they think the significance is of
this, that, and the other. In math and
science, you can figure out the answers. But in literature and history, the
interpretive parameters are so globally limitless that the probabilities of
hitting on what the teacher has in mind seemed narrow at best.
The
sophomore basketball coach was my PE teacher that fall of my junior year, and
in PE we simply played basketball most days. I came to Utah hardly knowing what
a basketball was. The Hawaii and California neighborhoods I grew up in only
played football and baseball. I was quite good at schoolyard football—fast,
quick, diving catches, etcetera—and mediocre at baseball, but somehow I never
crossed paths with basketball until we moved to Utah. The first months of 8th
grade PE I was learning how to dribble and could not shoot worth beans. By my
junior year, three years later, I was still a lousy basketball player, by
competitive standards. However, I could run and jump, was quick, had improved
my shooting some, and occasionally did something impressive. Anyway, I happened
to be having a good day one day in PE, and the teacher-coach was noticing,
unbeknownst to me. After class, he took me aside and in earnest told me to try
out for the basketball team. Now keep in mind that this is Provo High School;
they took state as often as any among those largest schools in the state. I was a junior, so too late for preparatory
or sophomore ball, I would be trying out for varsity. Since the sophomore coach
thought I should, I decided to try out as he suggested.
The
day came and no less than 200 boys were trying out for Provo High’s varsity
basketball team. Coach Condie wanted to
get it whittled down quickly to start basketball season and not waste time
dealing with 200 run-abouts, so he divided us into 40 teams of 5. Each team
played 3 minutes, twice. Of course, when there are only 6 minutes to show what
one can do, half hog the ball and the other half never see it. So without
touching the ball, I ran up and down the court for 6 minutes, and that was my
Provo High basketball career. I was not too disappointed. Someone had to fill
the ranks of the 180 cut from the tryout roster. Besides, if I had made the
team, I would have had to learn how to dribble. Coach Condie did not know me,
but we were probably related, since I’m descended from the pioneer Condies too,
but I did not know that then, which was just as well. He probably did not want
to know about a relative who couldn’t dribble, and with 100 cousins, I was not
in dire need of any more relatives either, though I liked all that I had, that
I knew of. So moving on out of each
other’s life worked well for both of us.
(p.
20) Provo High had no cross country then, so I did
my own cross country season year around: usually a grueling 8-mile workout in
the foothills over Utah Valley, from my house in Provo to Provo Canyon and
back. Besides the 8 miles, the challenge
was the grueling last 500 yards before the turn-around point. After running 4
miles to it, I’d run the steep 300 yards uphill, which left me feeling like I
had just finished a race with a long kick already by the time I reached the
top. I felt like collapsing at that point, but instead of stopping, I’d take
off and sprint 200 yards on the level. So by track season my junior year, those
500-yard finishes gave me a kick that … well, Reed tells it best. My cousin
Reed Gardner often came to watch Provo High track meets, and mingling among the
athletes on the sidelines, he would overhear their conversations. As we milers
entered the 4th lap, one who had never seen me run would say, “It
looks like our man is going to beat Stubbs this time.” But then someone else
who had seen me run would say, “No, he doesn’t have a big enough lead. Watch
when Stubbs hits that back straightaway.” Then, though the other guy might have
a 10-yard lead, it was gone part way down the back straightaway, with the new
gap widening quickly around the curve and more down the final straightaway, to
win by 30 yards or so, though behind at gun lap. Some not-in-the-know would say
I should run faster, if I had so much left. No, that’s not how it works. No
matter the pace, my mountain workout enabled me to sprint the last 300 yards in
about 40 seconds, no matter how I felt … unless I was sick or recovering from
flu, which also happened.
(p. 24) Rather than bore readers
with the whole senior season, let’s skip to the end, since all this running
stuff could make non-runners tired just reading about it. At the Southern
Division meet of Provo High, Springville, Payson, Spanish Fork, and one other,
I set a new school and division record of 4:37. Toward the end of the meet were the relays. I
was usually put to run the final half-mile leg of the medley. But this day the
coach did something he had never done before and put me as the first
quarter-miler of the mile relay (4 x 440). While most of the other
quarter-milers used blocks, I was a distance runner and was not used to blocks,
so at the start, I was standing while the others were crouching. The gun fired
and we accelerated around the first curve. With the staggered start, I had no
idea how I was doing amongst these speedsters until we approached the back
straightaway, where I found myself 4th out of 5. Not caring for that
look, I hit my top gear to bring me between and even with the leading two. When
they saw me come abreast of them, they hit their fastest gear as well, and the
three of us were sprinting all out only 130 yards into the race. Nevertheless,
though they were as fast, they could not maintain their speeds as long, and I
began pulling away from them. By mid-straightaway I could no longer see them on
either side in my peripheral vision. I just kept going as fast as I could,
around the next curve, and my training enabled me to not let up through the
final straightaway either. Not until I handed the baton to the next runner and
stepped off the track did I look back and see that I had given the team a
35-yard lead. (Coach timed me at 50 seconds.) The other guys on our team saw
that and did their best ever too and kept that lead three more times around the
track, such that we won by a huge margin. Never had our mile relay team won by
such a margin! My brother Eric, a sophomore on the team that year, said he
noticed that some of the other teams had their best quarter-milers on the first
leg. He is very observant to notice things like that, while I seldom do. After
the track meet, the coach smiled, bowed and shook his head in disbelief, and
said to the others nearby, “He trains year-round and it shows.”
Days
before the region meet, I got the flu and barely made 3rd place to
qualify for state. At the state meet,
one week after region, I was still not feeling wholly recovered, but state
meets do not accommodate individual bio-schedules, so I did my best, in fact,
better than I expected to do that day: my best time of 4:35. It is usual to do
one’s best at state (unless sick), because one tapers, rests, and peaks for
that one race. My best times my senior
year were a 50-second quarter mile, a 2:00 minute half mile, and 4:35 mile.
(p.27) One
day, some of the missionaries began a contest to see who could sit against a
wall the longest. One had to apply
enough pressure against the wall to keep from sliding down or from sliding up,
both of which were easier than 90-degrees, but not allowed. Most did it a
minute or two, and one missionary did it 3 minutes—the record to that
point. It didn’t look very fun and I was
not really interested, but then they asked me to do it. I took the position, and 3 minutes passed,
then 5, 10, 20, 30. It seemed I might go
indefinitely, so at 45 minutes they said, “See if you can go an hour, then
we’ll call it quits.” I was drenched with sweat, but finished the hour, mainly
because I had figured out a trick, without which I could not have gone many
more minutes than the others did. After a few minutes, I figured out that I
could hold myself against the wall with the strength of one leg. So I would let
one leg do all the work for 5 or 10 seconds, then switch, letting it rest while
the other leg did all the work. Alternating legs, with each leg getting to rest
10 of every 20 seconds, enabled me to go somewhat indefinitely. Sometimes thinking can magnify performance
(lesson 18). I later told them the secret. The superman status slipped a
bit, but I was honest, not wanting any to think I’m more than I am … as if many
suffer from that.
(p. 44) After my mission, I rode a
bicycle to Arizona (“Decisions, Decisions” in Morsels) to get a job at a trading post. During
my days at Mexican Water Trading Post, the trader at Rock Point Trading Post
had a community basketball team that played in tournaments all over, and he
wanted me to play for his team. I still
was not all that good, but had gradually improved my dribbling and shooting a
little over the years, but I could run and … well, we’ll start from the
beginning and see if I can manage any semblance of humility. No … scrap that plan. It hardly ever works.
I’ve been trying to be humble all my life and have had so little success that
I’ve about given up, and even if not giving up, a postponement of a paragraph
or two seems negligible to a life time. Actually, I have managed some success
at humility—am rather meek and low-key by nature, and if occasional
accomplishments begin to encourage me to think I’m something, then all I have
to do is stop and think how little, weak, and ditsy we are compared to God’s
infinite love, humility, power, knowledge, and wisdom, and I’m right back on
humble street. But an occasional detour from humble street to tell it like it
is shouldn’t be thought too alarming for one so regularly imperfect as I.
About age 17, while
playing basketball at mutual or wherever, I began noticing that I could get off
the ground quite well. I could only jump 24” (two feet) from a standstill, but
twice that on a running jump. I figured the 3 years of high-jumping in L.A. and the power uphill
sprint training over the years since were combining to bless me with an unusual
ability later in life. In the LTM, they let us missionaries play basketball 3
times a week. Other observers said that I would go in for a lay-up with my arm
stretched out horizontal, yet as high as the basket. As Navajos loved to play
basketball, it was an occasional part of our mixing with the people in the
mission field too, and was the common form of exercise at district meetings
among elders. During those games, I noticed often that two elders would stand
shoulder to shoulder to block me out, but with a running jump, I could jump
over their shoulders, and with legs slightly bent, my feet would go past their
ears. I did that many times. Often people would say my head was higher than the
basket. I was never taller than 5’10 ¾” so if the top of my head was higher than
the basket, I was getting more than 4 feet off the ground, and with a bend of
the legs, I could jump over five-foot shoulders. My hang time was such that one
time I was running down the court, jumped about the foul line, shot while in
the air, the ball hit the back rim and bounced back toward me, and I was still
in the air to get the rebound and shoot a second time in the same jump. I
weighed 160 as a senior in high school, but after the bicycle trip, I weighed
148, and the 400 miles of pumping worked exactly the muscles and motion of
jumping. So during those Mexican Water days, I was 21, at peak strength and
maturity, still training hard every day, and weighed less than ever, which
allowed the same power in my legs to put me even higher. During one game in
particular, I was getting off the ground higher than ever—perhaps 4 and ½ feet
off the ground that night. Barry McGee was a witness and could hardly believe
his eyes. He said, “Everyone else jumps up then comes down, but you just keep
going up, up, up.” For doubters, we can
watch together the not-so-instant replays in yonder spheres.
Anyway, I played for
the Rock Point team. Tournaments were quite regular, and the coach loved
watching me jump … and he never gave up hope that I might do something else right
too, or so I surmised by his occasional suggestions like “maybe you could hold
onto the ball next time, too.” Good plan, coach, let’s do that play next. I’m
exaggerating a little on the poor play; I wasn’t that bad—or not always.
After
five and half months, the novelty of working at a trading post began to wear
off, and it began to sink in that attractive, temple-eligible Mormon girls my
age were as numerous in Mexican Water as the palm trees. I talked to the boss, he paid me my latest
wages, and I passed by Monument Valley’s Valley of the Gods headed for the
valley of the goddesses (Utah Valley). At a BYU 10-stake dance, my first
weekend home, I met one Silvia Canelo from Argentina.
(p.
72) I ran Monticello’s July 24th 5K
race 3 years in a row. At age 37, I ran it in 16:25, or 16:40? (ca. 5:20-25 per
mile) and won handily; the next year was a little slower, but I still won, just
not quite as handily, but not bad for pushing 40. The third year, I had not
trained for it and did not feel ready to compete, but I was curious to see how
my acquaintances in Monticello would do, so I went just to watch. The Jensen
twins, who were good runners and later ran at the college level, competed 2 or
3 of those years, taking 2nd and 3rd, I think. But as I
stood around in my jeans, flannel shirt, and tennis shoes, waiting for it to
start, Joe Davis and others began needling me to run. “But I didn’t come
dressed for it and I haven’t prepared for it this year. I just came to watch
how you guys do,” I said. After a few more minutes of persevering
encouragement, I decided to appease their requests. I was at least wearing
tennis shoes, though new jeans do not bend well for striding easily.
Nevertheless, I won again, but by barely this time, and a sizeable trophy was
the prize. Arriving back home in Blanding, I walked through the front door with
the trophy, and Shana burst out laughing, instantly figuring out what had
happened. At age 40, I beat Micah Ewart just a week after he had taken 3rd
in state in the two-mile.
(p.
124) Tom Wigginton of Monticello, at
Shane and Tina Marian’s reception, said he heard a former Monticello
high-school runner (Jensen) tell him that “when he ran in high school, there
was this Stubbs guy who used to come and run in street clothes and cheap
shoes and the first year he beat me good.
So the next year I invited my running friends to run the race with me
and see if we could beat this Stubbs guy.
So a bunch of us ran, and he beat all of us again the next year.”
The 2nd
year that I ran the Monticello July 24th 5K race, Joe Davis told me,
“Brian, you have to buy better shoes. When you come in those $10-Kmart specials
with so many holes that they barely stay on your feet, and then you beat us
all, it makes us look bad. Could you at least buy some new shoes?”
(p.
87) The Grand Canyon’s
south rim later became a favorite hike for Sheila and me. We would jog the 8
miles down from the top to the river, then walk the 8 miles back up at a good
pace, doing all 16 miles in 5 hours. The park rangers would stop us and tell us
that one should not try to go to the bottom and back to the top in one day; it
should be a 2-day trip. We had to convince them that we did this regularly and
that a half day was plenty for us to do what they wanted to make a 2-day trip.
A 5-hour drive there, a 16-mile workout in 5 hours, then a 5-hour drive back
had the 15-hour day putting us back in Blanding by bedtime. I found hiking to
be a good alternative to running, since it was clear that I had lost my competitive
edge in running. It came on gradually, a pound or two a year, but by now, at
220 instead of the 160 high school weight, I have slowed way down, but still
jog a few miles every day and have done so all my life without
interruption—living proof that exercise alone does not always keep the weight
down. Until age 41, I could beat the runners of the county’s 4 high schools,
but those days became past tense, and have slipped further into the past each
year.
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