Significant
persons in my life:
My dad may not be perfect, like none of us are, but his strengths far outweigh
all else. He’s honest, a person of integrity. He’s generous, benevolent, would
give you anything you really need, if he has it. He’s one of the hardest
workers I know. Whether physical work on the farm or working two full-time jobs
all his life—both teaching at BYU and playing in the Utah Symphony from 7 am
until midnight many days—he has always been a durable doer, though slowing down
a little now at age 86. Yet he still hauls pipe and works his 24-acre “farm” of
pasture land. He does what he thinks is right. I’ve always been quite proud of
my dad as a good man and a self-made man. Though a long hard road, from a boy
milking cows by hand on a dairy farm, Dad became one of the best oboists in the
nation because he wanted to, got a doctorate in music, and figured out how to
earn a good living as either a university professor and/or a professional
musician.
My
mom is Supermom—not Superwoman, but Supermom. She is not into impressing people,
could not care less about keeping up with any Joneses, avoids unnecessary
projects, and likes to rest when she’s tired instead of doing a lot of things
that other people seem “obligated” to do—and good for her, that’s where I get
it from—but when it came to being a mom, she was the best. She was patient and
a natural child psychologist. She liked her kids and was always there—mostly to
listen. No formal lectures, just a word tossed in here and there when useful.
The time(s) that I can remember her losing her cool in getting after us could
be counted on one hand, maybe on one finger. Even her firm voice was medium.
She could be upset at us, put out, stern and firm, but never explosive, and
even the stern and firm were so far apart we could fit school years between
them. Her nature was always genuine,
“without guile” as Dad often said, and pleasant, cool, calm, and … well, maybe
not collected in the sense of always having everything completely under control
or all figured out all the time, but collected in the sense of continuing to
work at collecting until it worked out okay, was too late, or was beyond her
control, at which point she sighed a sigh of relief that it worked out, was too
late, or was no longer needed. Simplifying
practicality, reasonableness, kindness, and an easy-going live-and-let-live
approach to life were her style.
“So
how did two such extraordinary parents end up with me?” you ask. Not all of
life’s mysteries have answers yet, but their next four kids were good, down-to-earth, pleasant, kind, and such likable people. I
have as wonderful a set of siblings as any on the planet.
Army,
mission, trading post, and marrying, with little time at home had me nearly
losing track of my siblings. For a capsulated catch-up, Eric, being nearest me,
has the most mentions in this history, was a good runner, not quite as good a
violinist, and served a mission in Peru. Rita became ever more beautiful, kept
up as the best musician of us, still plays violin well, and we all helped
direct traffic when her multiple boyfriends showed up in overlapping
succession. Alan was the best athlete—all-region linebacker in football,
all-region wrestler all 3 years, 3rd in state his junior year, and
served in South Korea. He also played oboe awhile. Dad once said that it took
him (Dad) 20 years to realize that playing oboe was not the most important
thing in life. Alan said, “I don’t think it’ll take me that long.” Carrie
became a dancer, ballerina, beautiful, and kept life much more fun than it
would have been without her. My children are prominently lauded throughout the book, but here the briefest excerpts will have to do.
Our oldest daughter was sterling scholar first runner-up
in music. She was a decent violinist and a very good pianist, and was kept busy
accompanying many groups. A Year after
high school, she entered and won the Miss San Juan County pageant, playing a
violin piece. I was proud of her and of all four of my daughters. Gems they all are!
As a senior, our daughter
and her friend Marilyn decided to do cross country simply
for exercise, for a daily jog to keep in shape a little, with no real plans for
the pains of being competitive. The day came for a big multi-school cross
country meet. The runners were given their numbers to pin on their jerseys
before the race. She and Marilyn noticed that their numbers were a different
color than the rest of the San Juan High runners. They were puzzled and
curious, so they asked what the different colors meant. It was explained to
them that their numbers were junior varsity numbers (per past performances)
while the rest of the team had varsity numbers.
This was done so that the junior varsity performances would not detract
from the varsity score.
The more She
thought about it, the madder she got, so that by the time the race started, she
was ready to run like no one had seen her run before or since. Nicolette was also on the San Juan team and was the best runner
in the state. Nicolette won and our daughter took second out of 70 or whatever number,
beating dozens of runners, including all the runners of all the other high
schools, but they could not count her 2nd place finish because she
had a JV jersey. I love that story. Since then she has begun running marathons
and half marathons, covering the 13 miles in just over two hours—not bad for a
mother of five—and marathons in 4 ½ hours.
Our boy ran the 400-meters in 56 seconds
as a freshman—very good for a 15-year-old.
Our third child, a girl, was the best 2A half-miler in
the state. She took 2nd by one foot in the state meet, but it
happened that another runner was catching her, and Sheila did not know it until
too late. Had she known, she could have beaten the other girl. She ran the half-mile in 2:27, the mile in
5:41, and the 5K (3.1 miles) in 18:17—all very good times. She also played basketball in high school and
still runs marathons.
Our next daughter was one of the best
quarter-milers in the state, doing it in 60 seconds on occasion. Jessica also won Sterling Scholar in Family
and Consumer Science. In the powder-puff
football game as a junior, Jessica ran for 2 or 3 touchdowns (70 yards
end-around), because none of the seniors could catch her. A year later, as a senior, she again ran for 2
or 3 70-yard touchdowns, because none of the juniors could catch her. She also played basketball and volleyball. After
recovering from a roll-over accident, Jessica got to resume her starting spot on
the volleyball team, and they won the state championship both Jessica’s junior
year and senior years. Jessica was also named
to the Deseret News all-state volleyball team.
Jessica later won 2nd attendant in
the Miss San Juan County Pageant.
Our youngest daughter ran cross country and won sterling scholar in Family and Consumer Science, I
think. All four girls were queen of one kind or another. Shana was Miss San Juan County; Sheila was homecoming queen; Jessica and Sarah were both first attendants to Miss San Juan County. While each has his/her individual personality
and talents, all five kids did well in school, participated in sports, and
still play the piano. On the other hand,
despite efforts to do well, everyone gets a package of difficulties or
challenges to deal with; for example, the first 4 of our 5 children were in
roll-over accidents or dead by age 19, before the youngest or fifth had started to drive. So drive carefully.
Turning points in life:
After working
all-night jobs for two years, I obtained part-time employment at the Church translation department and was awarded 3 scholarships from 3 different
departments: the Near East languages dept, the linguistics dept, and the
English (ESL) dept. About 2 weeks after the good news of the 3rd
scholarship, the Spirit whispered: “Prepare to return to Blanding.” What? How
could that be? I would finally have all expenses paid by 3 scholarships while
working on a dissertation. And even when I finish the dissertation, a PhD in
Hebrew and Arabic and linguistics goes to teach at a university, not to a small
town like Blanding. But a few days later, it came again: Prepare to return to
Blanding. Silvia told me she felt the same thing. I was quite miffed at the
seeming contradiction. Why should I leave 3 scholarships? It didn’t make sense.
A linguist and PhD in Hebrew and Arabic does not look for work in Blanding.
A day or two after
that, I was called in by the ESL Dept and they explained that since I had 3
scholarships, they thought it better to give someone else the ESL scholarship.
I was okay with that. I still had two scholarships. A day or two after that,
the Near East Department informed me that my scholarship had been given to
someone else—the girlfriend of a faculty member, I later learned. That decision
seemed due to corruption. The professor whose girlfriend got it avoided me like
the plague and looked very guilty when our paths crossed. With scholarships evaporating
daily and all coursework completed, I could work on a dissertation from
wherever, and as we had a house all paid for in Blanding, we could live there
much more inexpensively than paying $400 rent each month in university housing.
The Church’s Translation Department let me finish up some projects from a
distance as well, and I received some pay for those. So with encouragement from
circumstances unforeseen by mortals, but known only to Him Who Knows all
things, we obeyed (with a push) and prepared to return to Blanding—like my
obeying the laws of physics when the horse stopped on a dime.
Some
inclusions in the life history are also in Morsels
for the Mind:
4.
A Performance Not to Be Forgotten--Unfortunately
6.
Hamburgers for Dinner
10.
Decisions, Decisions
11.
Inspection
14.
Santa and the Tooth Fairy
21.
What a Soldier Wouldn't Give
Appendices
are a way of organizing specific categories of doings or preferences:
Appendix A: Ancestors
Appendix B: Accidents and Close
Calls
Appendix C: Brian’s Favorite
Compositions
Appendix D: Brian’s Recommended
Reads or Favorite Books
Appendix E: Things I’m Thankful
for
Appendix F: Websites
Appendix G: Lifetime Mileage
Appendix H: Lessons Learned
The
Biography or Life History
Writing a life history is most worthwhile, whether your own or an ancestor's or someone else’s life
history. In doing so, consider the following:
Chronology: chronological order is generally
best, though certain factors may encourage departures if desired.
Kinds
of inclusions to
consider:
(1) Significant experiences, important
or major events; (2) interesting experiences;
(3) humorous experiences help
make it a fun read; (4) difficult/challenging/sad experiences;
(5) decisions, directions, turning
points in life; (6) learning experiences;
(7) hobbies, interests, sports; (8)
career plans or completions, accomplishments;
(9) meaningful experiences; (10)
favorite book(s) recommendable to the intended audience;
(11) highlight important people
in your life; (12) thoughts on life, message/advice to posterity or the world.
Pictures: pictures are said to be worth a
lot of words, depending on the pictures and the words, so yes, do include a
selection of desired pictures.
Interview
Prompts and Questions
to consider:
Generally tell the more important
happenings and highlights of your life, things you want to be remembered.
What are your likes and
dislikes? Favorite things? Pet peeves?
Go through the list above—the 12 kinds
of inclusions—to help jog the memory.
After obtaining a body of
inclusions, put them in chronological order, except where desirable to do
otherwise.
Assignment
Size: 8 or 10 double-spaced
pages (5 single-spaced) is sufficient, not counting pictures, though more, like
15-20 pages, is fine too. The assignment may be only the beginning of a future
expansion. Having written 4 life histories, I find that much depends on the amount
of material available. My grandfather’s life history totaled 8 pages (single-spaced)
based on interviews with his 7 children and a short 3-page summary in his own
hand. My mother’s life history reached 43 pages, my dad’s 55 pages, because
they were still alive and able to tell their own stories. I was not planning to
write my own for another 20 years, but pressures explained in the first
paragraph (below) had me writing it last year, amounting to 154 pages because I
know my own life quite well, though I skipped many less interesting experiences
to keep it interesting enough for grandkids to read. However, it took 4 months,
beyond a school assignment. Yet whether short or long, all life histories are
of immense value. Almost nothing is
known of 15 of my 16 great-great-grandparents, but one has a life history
written by a descendant and it is a valued treasure to all descendants. Likewise, your work, whether writing your own
or an ancestor’s life history, will become more and more valuable as the years
pass. Our fallible mortal memories make now the best time. Fortunately, I wrote
brief autobiographical summaries at age 21 and again at 40. When re-reading those
years later, I had forgotten half of what I wrote. So I’m glad my family
pressed me to write mine now. Now is better than later! When the person is still alive is better than
after passing on. But if passed on, doing it when their children are still
alive to interview is better than after the children are gone. And interviewing
grandchildren is better than nothing, but by then much is lost to collective
memory. The value and some purposes for
writing a life history are in the second paragraph of the excerpted life
history below.
Sources
and Documentation
(Notes and Bibliography): (1) 3 to 5 (or more) interviews will be the primary sources
for this type of project. If the person
still lives, his/her interview is most important and might better span 4 or 5
sessions and fewer other interviews are needed. (2) Include a newspaper article
or two, if possible (marriage, 50th-wedding anniversary, obituary,
or other). (3) If the person has some experiences or memories written down
already, cite those as written sources from which you draw information. You can
incorporate them partially or wholly, and verbatim, if relevant and written
well, or paraphrase the substance, if preferred. (4) if a larger historical
event—war, community progress/change, etc—is a context to a part of their life,
research that event and document source(s) from which you provide the context.
Editing
suggestions: (1)
Keep a back-up copy on a thumb-drive at all times, as this is too important to
lose if a computer crashes. (2) Try to keep the life history a positive and
enjoyable read. In mine, I included my own stupidity rather than that of
others, and I spoke well of nearly everyone, not too negatively of anyone. (3)
When the exact time is not remembered, one can say “in either ’87 or ’88,” or “sometime
during the 80’s,” or mention no time whatever. (4) If still living, confer with
the person whose life history you are writing on important decisions. It is
his/her life being recorded; so let the final result be as they prefer, though
you should offer them suggestions when it would improve the result.
Process
suggestions: (1)
Ask the person or family (if deceased) whether such a project is okay with them
or has already been done. If already done, choose someone else. If a short
start exists (5 or less pages) but an expansion is desired, you can do that,
adding another 8 pages or so. (2) I suggest typing on a laptop as the person
talks, because taking notes by hand, then re-typing takes more time. I found
that simply listening to a story, then typing and reading it back to check it
works better than their talking slow enough for me to type. (3) Get the bulk of
the information down via interviews with the person(s). (4) Scan and insert
pictures, and finish filling out and polishing the narrative as best you can,
with transitions between events and paragraphs. (5) Suppose you have 10 pages
of double-spaced writing and 5 pages of pictures. Single-spacing to 5 pages has
advantages over double-spacing 10 pages: it saves paper, it may be the
preferred final result, and if you’ll be making several copies for relatives
(as I suggest you do), the single-spaced shorter version would be less
expensive. (6) Use Appendix C (punctuation) to answer punctuation questions as
you proofread. (7) Let the person(s) proofread it for content, then make the
suggested changes, with discussion/your suggestions. (8) Then have a knowledgeable editor/punctuator
proofread it.
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